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Making and Breaking

October 18th, 2009 (09:03 pm)

current mood: determined
current song: neutral milk

 I will stop being stupid.
I will make better decisions.
I will not let external forces effect my happiness.
I will stop basing my self worth on others opinions.
I will not be ashamed.
I will not be embarrassed.
I will play hard.
I will go after what I want.
I will not want things that are bad for me.
I will stop being scared.
I will grab my future by the balls.
I will not let anyone fuck with me.
I will stop wasting my time on people who aren't worth it.
I will not compare myself to others.
I will remember who I am.
I will not let anyone change me.

I will own it all.
You can't stop me.

Sasha is [userpic]


October 5th, 2009 (05:01 pm)

current mood: listless

 Life sucks again.
My car us all sorts of broken and I have missed my last FOUR soccer games.
Deeply upsetting, right?

All this sadness is making me want to drink copious amounts of boxed wine 
and have obnoxious hangovers.

I have to get outtttttta here.
I am thinking I will get a gangsta race car with standard transmission
and take off for the American South.

I'll cultivate a sweet accent,
hook up with some southern fella sporting epic sideburns,
and live happily ever after.

Other then that, I only want what I can't have.
(won't have)

Sasha is [userpic]


September 30th, 2009 (05:17 pm)

current mood: pensive

I wrote a poem:

Car be broken.
Life be suckin.

Other then that shit life is cool.
Playing lots of soccer.
Making love not war,
watching tv shows on little screens,
eating potatoes.
Drinking milk.
Good for the bones.


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Then then then then

August 24th, 2009 (11:45 am)

current mood: optimistic

General Life Update:

I am a happy person. I like my life, I like who I have turned out to be. I like how things that used to be impossible for me are easier now. I like that I cope, deal, and move the fuck on. It's nice to be a happy person instead of a sad person.

Cheer Life Update:

Still cheering, I suck but I am getting better. The  girls have complimented me on my progress and have made it clear that I had better be a part of the squad next year if I know what's good for me. Plus I have made some cool chick friends. Bonus.

Family Life Update:

My family rocks. They all came out to watch me do my cheer business saturday night. I was awesome to have them in the stands taking pictures and being all proud (and making fun of me) They made me nervous but I was really happy they were there.

Personal Life Update:

I have jumped back on the celibacy bandwagon. Keeping them panties on if it kills me. I am also doing a great job with the only drinking one night out of the week. I've been missing alot of parties but I am less exhausted so it's a fair trade as far as I am concerned.

Soccer Life Update:

Played my first division one game and kicked ass. I made some sweet saves and basically defended like my life depended on it. Everyone was really nice and I have an actual team jersey, just like everyone else. Totally sweet. I am kicking ass in indoor still, dropping in on people, stealing balls. I am sweaty and impressive.

Social Life Update:

Brittany is still gone and I WICKED MISS HER. I am getting much better at socializing with people I don't know with out freezing up and getting all anxious/awkward. Kinda seeing someone, it's weird. I don't like it. He makes me all emotional and messy, and I don't get all emotional and messy. Not anymore. It's not going to end well, or in my favor. Bummer.

Sasha is [userpic]


August 19th, 2009 (10:43 am)

current mood: excited

Guess who's playing division one this season?


Fuck Yes.


Sasha is [userpic]

Information Overload

August 14th, 2009 (10:37 am)

current mood: contemplative

For some reason creepy dudes feel like it is perfectly acceptable to text me vile and repugnant things in the morning.

I don't know why and I don't like it.

This particular mornings' creepy dude got my number from a friend of mine a few weeks back and deemed it neccesary to send me a text at 6:45 AM asking (and I am paraphrasing here because i can't remember the whole thing) if "my tits were still soft soft perky like in high school".

Whoa now. Ewww now. WTF?

Anyways, I pretty sure i am emotionally paralyzed and I think about things in a rational, calculating, and critical manner.
When I am saying something that sounds sincere and heartfelt, it's not.
It's all a ploy and a device I am using to get something.

I never was this manipulative before Thom and I can't figure out a way to let my guard back down and call off the dogs so i can be a real person again.

I was thinking about becoming a stripper but I hate being objectified so that's probably not going to work.


Sasha is [userpic]

Call juvenile corrections......

July 26th, 2009 (07:31 pm)

I am skipping my soccer game tonight.
Never done that before.

I just don't want to go,
I hate my sunday night team.
It's not fun.
They're all too serious.

Besides I am tired.
And I cheered at my first football last night.
Football's boring.


Sasha is [userpic]

(no subject)

July 7th, 2009 (07:53 pm)

current mood: faking it
current song: cursive

I just posted a total downer of an entry and decided it would be better if I erased it and tried again.

Here are a few examples of how my life is awesome right now:

I just bought a sweet camera for $75 dollars from some dude on craigslist, extra awesome because it was the same camera I was thing of picking up eventually but for $100 less, so I couldn't pass it up

My calves are SUPER toned from all the soccer and cheering

I have been drinking way less recently

Brittany is coming home soon! (eventually?)

I like me and I am sticking with the "fuck anyone who doesn't like me" stance

My family is pretty awesome

Traffic hasn't been bad

I watched Bring It On yesterday

I have been making the sickest, most delicious, sandwiches for dinner the past few nights

and I finally returned my overdue library books so i could take out some more

and those are just a few examples of the myriad of ways in which my life is cooler then all 'yalls
so I am going to try to stop being down about all the crappy parts and embrace the awesome

Sasha is [userpic]

Take it all bitchhhhh

June 27th, 2009 (11:45 am)

current mood: AWESOME

 Let this be a fact:


Continuing on,
I have this very specific power ,of which I have no control over, where by just existing I can make people break up with their girlfriends.
It's weird.

I've been talking to this kid I went to grade school with and he is totally digging on me.
So I am probably going to be really mean to him and break his heart.
He's cute though.

Anyways, indoor soccer is totally rad and I am glad I am on two teams so I get to play twice a week.
It's a completely different scene then the outdoor leauuge,
way less competitive,
older demographic,
and everyone is REALLY, really nice so far.

I love it.

Sasha is [userpic]

(no subject)

June 23rd, 2009 (09:18 pm)

 so, I SUCK at cheerleading.

Here is to hoping that I have at least a modicum of indoor soccer skill.

Or else this whole week is a bust and I hate myself.